


If Wishes Were Horses (We'd Need to Buy a Stable)

by mywarisalreadywon



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Canon made me sad, Gen, Happy Ending, I do what I want, I had a lot of problems with endgame okay, So screw canon, Temporary Character Death, The Russos did my babies dirty, They deserved better, so I fixed it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-06
Updated: 2019-08-06
Packaged: 2020-08-10 16:34:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20138545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mywarisalreadywon/pseuds/mywarisalreadywon
Summary: Earth lost it’s best defender, but she cannot spare any of her grief for that.<><><><><><><><><><>He opens his eyes to a white room.





	If Wishes Were Horses (We'd Need to Buy a Stable)

**Author's Note:**

> So, I do what I do and when canon makes me sad I just...ignore it. Like no. This never happened. I am the captain now.

Everyone lingers, and she can’t fault them for it. They’ve missed the last five years of his life, they’ve missed far more than that before he managed to survive Thanos’ plan. They missed out on him the moment they all turned their backs on him and told him that he was wrong. She stays close to Rhodey and tries not to let her bitterness seep into her expression. He’s mad too, but he’s better at hiding it, better at separating himself from his anger. He’s a soldier first, but he’s Tony’s brother second.

Her husband is gone, the love of her life is gone, but she can’t fall apart just yet. Her daughter doesn’t have a father, but she’s not old enough to really understand that her daddy isn’t coming home. Rhodey lost his soulmate, because that’s what they were. They completed each other in a way she could never complete him, love him as she might. 

Earth lost it’s best defender, but she cannot spare any of her grief for that. 

Rhodey stays the longest, not wanting to leave her alone, and she sees her grief mirrored in his eyes. She can’t hold back any longer the moment she sees that damn alpaca eating the goji berries outside, tears streaming down her face as Rhodey catches her, holding her close as she sobs. Happy has Morgan, he’s steadfast in holding his grief at bay and she’s never been more thankful for him. She lets everything out on the floor of the kitchen they shared for so few years, surrounded by memories and reminders of him. She’s been through a lot with him, she’s handled so much stress since the moment she became his assistant, and she’s suffered so many sleepless nights since he became Iron Man.

She remembers her words in his workshop and wishes she’d listened to herself back when this all began. She remembers his words once she was so far in she knew she'd never walk out, not completely. 

_“You’re in a relationship with me, nothing will ever be okay.” _

She won’t be able to sleep, she knows that, but she lets Rhodey get her into bed and wraps her in a blanket that smells like Tony’s cologne. If she pretends hard enough, it feels like his arms are wrapped around her.

<><><><><><><><><><>

He opens his eyes to a white room. He should feel panicked, but he doesn’t. He stands up, looks around, and starts walking. He doesn’t know if he’s actually getting anywhere until the limitless white slowly starts to morph. It turns into a beach, and he absently notes that he’s barefoot now and ignores the little voice in his head that tells him he had been wearing shoes before.

He sees her sitting there, and a wide grin tugs at his lips.

“Agent Romanoff. Did you miss me?” She turns, never surprised, he can’t surprise her.

“I did. Didn’t think I’d see you so quickly though.” He sits down beside her and she puts her head on his shoulder. It feels nice here, peaceful.

“We won.”

“What did it cost?”

“Does it matter?”

“It does to me.”

“Bruce handled the gauntlet first. He brought everyone back. It was a hell of a fight. The Compound is gone now though, but at least we kept the damage there and no innocents were caught in the crossfire.”

“That’s good.”

“I got the kid back,” he said, his voice softer. “Didn’t have time to tell him what he meant to me.”

“I’m sure he understood.”

“I don’t regret it.”

“I wouldn’t expect you to.”

“But I wish there had been another way.”

“We all wish that, I’m sure.”

“I wish I’d known what we were sending you to,” he tells her, leaning his cheek against her head.

“I don’t regret it either.”

“I’m still sorry.”

“That’s okay.” Silence falls, but he starts to get itchy. It’s like there’s somewhere he needs to be, something he needs to be doing.

“We should go somewhere else,” he tells her, standing up and pulling her with him.

“Where?” she asks, lifting an eyebrow at him.

“Somewhere. I don’t know. Come on.”

She doesn’t fight him on it, and he wonders if she feels that itch too. He still doesn’t know how far they’re going, but he sees the change again, the beach slowly fading into gilded halls and sunshine into firelight. He hears movement before he sees anyone, and finds the noise coming from a woman. She’s sitting in an alcove, lit up by the fire and stars above, weaving on what seems to be some kind of loom. She doesn’t look up at them.

“It’s rude to lurk, children.”

“I’m not a child,” he protests, unable to help himself. Natasha smacks his arm.

“You’re all children to me. I am the All-Mother after all,” she says, humor coloring her tone as a smile creeps over her.

“You’re Thor’s mom,” he says, his eyes going wide.

“I am. Come here.” They listen, because when a queen tells you what to do, you listen. “Good. Welcome to Valhalla. I have heard about you.”

“From Thor?”

“No, from the Norns. They have always spoken to me, death has not changed that. You gave your life for the soul stone, and you gave your life for the sake of the universe,” she says, standing and walking over to them. “You expected nothing in return and did it with pure intentions. Thanos aimed for his own idea of equality and peace, you aimed for justice and life. When a being as, supposedly, small as a human makes such a decision, the universe listens. I was hoping you would find me before long so I could share their gift for you.”

“A gift? What gift? I didn’t do it for a gift,” he says, his heart pounding.

“No, of course not. But it’s been given to you anyway. I can send you home, back to your family.” He freezes. He can go home. He can have his life back, he can have his family. He opens his mouth to say yes when he feels the hand still in his.

“I can’t leave her,” he tells her, his voice firm, his head held high. “She gave her life just as selflessly as I did. Without her, we wouldn’t have been able to do it, I would never have been able to save the universe. So if they’re giving me that chance, she gets one too.” She’s shaking her head, but he tightens his grip on her hand. “I’m not leaving you. We’re family,” he tells her before she can protest.

“I think I can make that work, but it would come at a cost,” Frigga says, looking sad and proud at the same time. “Sending you back alone, I would be able to repair the damage the gauntlet did in it’s entirety. Sending the both of you back, I would only be able to repair it enough to guarantee your survival.”

“Do it, I accept, I can live with that.”

“Tony,” Natasha starts. “Are you sure?”

“I’m sure,” he says, resolute in his decision. “I’m sure. Morgan needs good influences. She needs a fantastic aunt who will play dress up and teach her how to throw knives. Just not in the house, please use the trees outside for target practice instead.” She laughs, but he sees the tears in her eyes. Frigga nods holding out her hands to them.

“Very well, give me your hands and I will begin the magic. And, if you could, please tell Thor I love him and assure him that I do not regret any of my actions that brought me here.” Tony could never say no to that, but before he gets the chance to tell her he will, he feels like he’s on fire, burning up from the inside out, and he wants to scream, but his jaw is locked tight. The world around him goes dark and he hopes it worked.

<><><><><><><><><><>

Everyone is outside, waiting by the lake as the sun starts to set. Rhodey and Pepper are inside; they’d thought it important that she have time to finally let out the pain they all saw in her eyes. Regret weighed heavily on them all. They could see it in each other, the words left unsaid, the words that were said, but not meant, the actions they should have taken, and the actions they should have thought twice about.

They’d all been willing to die, but none of them had thought it would be Tony who did. He’d had so much left in front of him, had said that he couldn’t let them just push time back to before the snap because he couldn’t lose what he’d found in the five years. He spoke like a man who had already lost back then, like he couldn’t handle another loss now that he had made some semblance of peace with his life.

The sun is bright against the water as it sinks down, fading rays of light giving a last bit of warmth. They hold each other, sharing the grief before they go back to pretending they’re okay as the world heals. Peter sniffles, reminding them all that Tony had lost, and he hadn’t even had time to really appreciate what he’d gained back in his life.

It takes a few beats longer than it should for them to realize the light is getting stronger, not fading.

“Should the sun be doing that?” Scott asked, trying to shield his eyes.

“No,” Strange said, sounding weary even as he pulled his magic to his hands. The light moved closer, to the dock, before landing with a thunk that light should not have had. They all pull themselves together, ready for another fight even when they’re not healed from their last one, might never be healed from their last one. The kid who no one had recognized gasped, recognizing it first, and darted to the house.

The light finally starts fading just as all of them are blinking away the static in their eyes, trying to see clearly . The shock of red hair is the first thing that makes sense, and Clint lets out what sounds like a cross between a sob and a laugh. Peter snaps out of his shock first, running forward and going opposite Nat to keep Tony from falling. Hope runs back to the house with the dual purpose of calling for a doctor and getting Pepper. Tony looks at Nat, who’s frowning at his injuries, the limp and burned up arm in particular, and gives her a smile.

“Worth it,” he said, his voice a quiet rasp.

“Mr. Stark, how are you here?” Peter asked, holding on tighter, like he might vanish again. Tony chuckled, letting himself be lowered into the chair Sam brought over.

“Hey Thor, your mom says hi,” he called, giving Peter a wink. Thor, looking a little more sober now than he had the last time he’d really looked, gave him a smile that was only a little bitter, the loss forever stinging. There’s no more time to discuss anything else, though, because in a hauntingly familiar way Pepper is running toward him, eyes wild and bloodshot, tears gathering but not falling from her eyes.

“Tony, oh my god,” she breathed. Nat and Peter step aside as she lunges forward, hugging him tightly. Tony wrapped his good arm around her, burying his nose in her neck. He hears more footsteps, accompanied by the soft whine of a motor, and doesn’t look up just yet. He knows who it is, he can have a few more moments with his wife. When he does look up, when Pepper starts pulling back just a little, Rhodey is crying and that means Tony is crying.

“You sick bastard. I should have known you’d crash your own funeral,” Rhodey said, brushing Tony’s hair back off his forehead just like he had when Tony was a fifteen year old mess of science, coffee, and not nearly enough common sense.

“It’s me,” Tony said, “I always said I’d be late to this thing.”

“Helen is on her way,” Hope said. “She said to start with basic first aid and to get you into a bed while we wait.”

“Use the chipmunk to get him to stay there,” Rhodey said. “She’s with Happy right now making him cry about cheeseburgers.”

For once, Tony doesn’t object about being put on bed rest.

<><><><><><><><><><>

Everyone lingers, and she can’t fault them for it. They missed the last five years of his life, but they’re planning to stick around for the rest of it. They got him back in their lives the moment they all took a knee for him, they moment they all honored the sacrifice he made. She stays close to Rhodey and doesn’t hide the happiness that seeps into her expression. He’s happy too, but he’s better at hiding it, better at making himself look calm and collected. He’s a soldier first, but he’s Tony’s brother second.

Her husband is home, the love of her life is home, and she doesn’t have to worry just yet. Her daughter has her father, and she’s old enough to really understand that her daddy isn’t leaving again. Rhodey got his soulmate back, because that’s what they are. They complete each other in a way she could never complete him, love him as she might.

Tony responded well to the cradle, his body healing as much as possible. The burns are just scars now, his arm red and gold to match the suit he will never wear again. Her own suit is also retired, though she knows he’s building a new Rescue for Harley to use and she’s heard talk of a girl at MIT who he plans to give his responsibilities to once she’s trained. He tells Peter that he doesn’t need Tony’s legacy, he’s a hero in his own right, but they all know Peter will always carry the title of being Tony’s first protégé.

Earth has still lost it’s best defender, but she knows he’s still going to help where he can. It’s time for someone else to take up the mantle though.


End file.
